Benefits of Self Touch

If the words "self touch," or "pleasure" make you cringe and you're tempted to press the delete button on this email, you're not alone. If this topic brings up feelings of discomfort, confusion, fear, and shame...

Welcome 👋

For those who have spent their existence living in a female body, you are in good company on the subject matter.

Here's how I think about it - we've grown up looking at our own hands since birth. We (initially) reflexively and (later) voluntarily opened and closed our hands, watched them move, isolated fingers, picked up and released different objects, and learned to coordinate tools. We know what the skin on our hands look like, from the lines along the palms to the dry brittle nails in the winter. We know where our hands are in space - giving a thumbs up or the middle finger - regardless of whether we're directly looking at them - because this part of our body is second nature.

Most of us do not have this relationship with our pelvises. For all the classic deep-rooted societal, religious, familial beliefs and stigmas associated.

It makes sense that so many women don't feel connected to this part of their bodies and don't feel comfortable looking at or touching themselves.

That said, there are very real (and evidence-based) benefits to self touch and masturbation. I specifically place them into different categories because self touch does not have to be sexually pleasurable. In fact, it can be an important health screening.

Benefits to Self Touch

• Vulva checks

  • Why: vulvas range in size, shape, and color. Understanding what is normal for you can be helpful to pick up changes that might need to be checked by a doctor

    • Vulvas change throughout the lifespan. In puberty pubic hair develops and the labia lengthens. With pregnancy the labia swells and you may develop enlarged veins (varicose veins). In postpartum the vulva shape may change. During and after menopause, the skin can become more fragile. Although change is natural, it's important to note concerns and discuss with a healthcare provider.

  • What to look for

    • any spots that are painful, tender, sore, itchy, a bump, rash, changing freckles or moles, unusual bleeding or discharge

  • Get to know your vulva

    • this can be done in the shower/bath or when getting dressed. Simply placing your hand at your vulva to note if anything has changed or feels uncomfortable

  • How to Perform a Self Check

    • Positons

      • Sit on the toilet and angle a mirror towards your vulva

      • Prop yourself up with pillows in bed and angle a mirror towards your vulva

      • In standing, prop one leg up on a chair or bath ledge

    • Hold the mirror with the less dominant hand as you use your dominant hand to check the mons pubis (where pubic hair typically is) and labia majora (outer lips). Then spread the outer lips apart to see the inner labia (labia minora). Here you can check the skin around the vaginal opening and the urethra. Last, look at the perineum (the area between the vulva and the anus)

Benefits to Masturbation

• Understanding of Your Own Preferences

  • Knowing the pressure, stroke, location of what you like (and don't) not only allows you to feel more confident with your partner, but also better communicate with them.

• Builds Pelvic Floor Strength and Mobility

  • Did you know the orgasms help the pelvic floor?? It's true! Orgasms improve the coordination, strength, and mobility of the pelvic floor. Soooo it could be the perfect home "exercise" program to keep a healthy pelvic floor.

• Improves Sleep

  • the hormonal and muscular release of orgasms have been shown to help with insomnia and improve sleep quality. Oxytocin, serotonin, and vasopressin increases with orgasms and decreases cortisol levels (stress hormone).

  • Fun fact - there's growing research that the opposite is also true - improved sleep is correlated with stronger, more robust orgasms.

• Boosts Mood

  • Going back to hormones here: serotonin (known as the "happy hormone" and oxytocin (known as the "love hormone") are released with orgasms

I encourage you to choose your own adventure and take the route that feels right to you. Beginning with simply placing your hand on your mons pubis (or just below your pubic bone) and taking 5-8 deep breaths is an introduction to owning this part of you.